God Hates Fangs
by Sergent Mathilde
Summary: Eric Northon was bored. DEAD bored.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey folks! I'm back with a new story, except this time it's in english. So be kind, because I am NOT english -although I love english very much- and it's possible than some of my words or sentences can be wrong. By the way, it would be very nice of you to tell me about it if you see any mistakes. Anyway, it's a story about the more stunning, the more fabulous, the sexiest, the hottest vampire of the show, Eric Northton -be you guessed before I said it-. It's a story about Eric being bored, and his particular way to deal with it. As fot the title, it comes from the (weird!) opening of the show, in which -maybe you had noticed- you can see this sentence, at the beginning. I found it pretty interesting so ... here we are! It's a story about bad, bad vampires, and blood, and sex, so if you're underage or if you don't like it or any other crap, I count on you to leave right away. If not, I'm not responsible, in any case. Oh, and, if you don't like what I wrote, don't bullshit me, please. Either you make a constructive comment, either you shut up. You can review, if you're in the mood. Of course, I would like it, and it would help me improve myself as a writer, but the important for me is that you read this story and enjoy it. So ... enjoy! Oh, uh, a last little something : I don't know how many chapters the story is going to have. At first it was supposed to be a one-shot, but it didn't work out. We'll see!**

**Disclaimer : Those messed-up, crazy, insane characters don't belong to me. Surprise! But what I do with them sure IS mine. **

**Pairing(s) : You'll see. But it's mostly a story about Eric. **

**Rating : K+  
**

**God hates Fangs**

Eric Northton was bored. Sitting in his throne in a state of motionless apathy, he was thinking of what he could do to get out of his coma. He remembered the order of the council about his bar. Just four words :

« Make it work out. »

They should have known that Eric Northton wasn't taking orders. From anyone.

An idea tilted in his mind. A fuckin' genius' idea. A smirk floating on his lips, he left without a look back a deserted Fangtasia where still lingered the faint smell of dead fang-bangers and satiated vampires.

Pam was sleeping -or kind of- in a red Fangtasia couch when a voice woke her up. It was always the same thing : her name, pronounced with his low, musky and too-seductive tone. She growled, but opened her eyes. She knew it, and she was right : he was there, back against the wall, a delicious smirk on his curled lips, watching her like she was one of these stupid humans waiting for him just to bite them. Pretending not to pay attention to him, she stood up and started combing her hair with her fingers to piss him off. He liked it when people admired him. He was so damn fucking egocentric. And she loved him so much. _Shit._ She started licking her bottom lip.

Pam bored Eric. To tell the truth, everything bored him. But he needed Pam. Today more than any other day. They had had sex once or twice, but she was so predictable. What was the point in being a vampire if she didn't even know how to use it? She was a moron and a nasty bitch. But he needed her. And she dressed pretty good.

With his inhuman speed, he approached her and put his arms around her face, pushing her right against the pillows. He whispered :

-I've a request for you.

She hesitated between saying « Aye, Aye, Master » like Ginger would've said or asking if it was a favor or an order, like she knew Bill -or any other unconscious fool- did all the time. Finally she said :

-I'll think about it.

He attempted to dive deeper within her gaze but she didn't let him succeed. He laughed briefly :

-Really? You'll « think about it » ?

She froze at hearing his cruel tone, but bravely answered :

-Yeah.

-I don't think so.

Was he glamorizing her? She didn't know if it was possible to do it on a vampire. But Eric knew like everything. He looked her straight in the eyes and said slowly with his honeyed and sweet voice:

-I want you to kill Sookie.

And he added:

-Sookie Stackouse, this delicious human. Kill her.

And, because she was in love with him or maybe because he had thrown her a kind of magic impulse, she answered:

-Yes.

And it was the beginning. The beginning of the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey again folks! Here is the second chapter of this story. First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for either having reviewed -which I greatly appreciated, thank you so much- or having put me in your favorites or story alerts. It means a lot to me, especially since it's my first english story and I was very anxious about it. So … here we are. I let you go back to dangeroulsy cute Eric and his friends, including the blond troublemaker and the old crinky vampire. Enjoy (and review)!**

**Disclaimer : Those messed-up, crazy, insane characters don't belong to me. Surprise! But what I do with them sure IS mine. **

**Pairing(s) : You'll see. But it's mostly a story about Eric. **

**Rating : K+**

**PS : As Svay kindly made me notice, I spelled Eric's last name wrong in the first part of the story. I'm very sorry : I corrected it in all the other parts, including this one. Northman it is. **

**God hates Fangs**

As always when they weren't simpering or having sex, Bill and Sookie were having a fight. It was –as always- about something that pissed her off: price of life. Jessica had killed a woman last night, and after having punished her like she ought to be, he had said with some « pornolicious » light in the eye :

-Let's have fun.

Of course, it had infuriated her and now she was very very upset, yelling at him. And he was waiting for her to stop.

-How can you even suggest we ... screw up after what your horrible bloody vampire daughter has done to this poor woman! You bastard!

God she was so annoying when she acted like that. After having listened to her during almost an hour, he stood up and walked close to her. He took her hands in his :

-Sookie... I love you so much...

That wasn't a bad start : the "I-love-you-so-much" speech worked -more or less- each time.

-You know I care about human life...

Did he? Didn't matter.

-But what is done is done, and what I was trying to do was helping you forget this awful experience. You know... To "put it behind us".

Really? He was sure he looked pathetic right now, begging her to forgive him. For one minute, he regretted not to be a vampire, a real vampire. But she looked at him hesitantly, with her cutest lost-little-girl look, and said :

-It's okay.

And it was okay. Again. He kissed her on the lips and held her, then led her to the bed. As always.

-GHF-

In the twenties, when Pam was still a human being, she had been -yes- an amazing person. She didn't exactly remember _how_ -it was so long ago from now-, but she had been. The kind of girl that is nice and fresh, and doesn't bother how many to give or how many to pay, just enjoying the now. It was the way she was -she used to be. And then Eric moved into her neighbourhood, with his strange habits and his new-fashioned clothes, and she had wanted to know him. Of course. Why not? He was gorgeous, new, unknown and dark. Only going out at night. A little bit vampire-style, you know?

So she had managed to get to meet him. At first, he had been cold, and had rejected her mercilessly. But she had insisted, over and over again. And, step by step, they had hung out together, kissed, fucked. And one day he had turned her. Yes, of course at first she had been frightened and mad, but then, she had understood that there was nothing she could have done -and do- to stop it. So they had hidden with a group of alike vampires, killed innocent -or guilty, whatever- people, fed, drank, established a kind of routine that was never to have a routine -stay young, or sort of-. But it hadn't worked out, cause two years ago, the Japanese created this True Blood shit. So now everyone knew about them and they had a fucking bar, fucking and feeding on fang-bangers. Pam was about 100 years old. All had started with Eric, and she knew all would finish with him. Nolife cycle, like candy Amy would've said.

She didn't hate him for having turned her. From the first time she had seen him, she had loved him. Here was all the tragic in her story : she loved her killer, the man that had made her become the one she was and that didn't even love her back, though he had completely and irrevocably transformed the woman's life. So she obeyed him in her cynic and fuck-you-all way, and that was all. They were like a strange and non-exclusive couple, without the happiness and with fangs in addition.

-Great, she thought ironically.

What a fucking freak he was. Damn.

Why had she accepted his shitty order? "Kill Sookie". Why not "Marry a human"? Jerk. Not that she wasn't capable of such a thing -kill Sookie, of course-. But with Bill behind her back in permanence, watching over her like a puppy... And he would know if she killed her. For sure, he'd know. But she took her car -a black Jaguar- and went to BonTemps, like told. That's what she did. All the time. That's what _he_ did to her.

-GHF-

When Bill saw Pam with Eric behind her back following her like a shadow -while _she_ was his shadow, actually-, he immediately knew that there was something wrong.

_Clac!_ Fangs out, no risk.

He was right. Pam started, with a drawl:

-Give me the girl.

Eric laughed, so she added:

-We need her.

Immediately -and like Pam hoped he would-, he said:

-I'm coming with her.

This time, _she_ laughed:

-We need her for, you know ...

Fangs out.

-... personal business.

Let's go play.

-GHF-

Eric wasn't bored. At all. Of course, Pam had fucked up the beginning - frontal attack, the evil bitch- but eventually it had turned out to be kind of funny. All he loved: blood, irony and, well...vampires. He laughed in expectation. Two possibilities: either Pam would be killed- more probable- and Bill would go to the court, and then -the man had his tips- he would be forced to do something he wouldn't like _at all_, either Pam would miraculously succeed in killing the thin blond girl, -it would be less fun, but still-, and Bill would be furious – what a freak, falling in love with meat-.

Eric wished Bill wouldn't kill Pam like he had killed Longshadow-without fight, just one stab and bye-bye Buddy-. He really liked fights -bites, knives and everything-. But with Bill... How to know?

-Wait and see, he said to himself.

-GHF-

Hearing that she wanted some physical "gift" from his beloved, Bill jumped and attacked Pam with his fangs, intenting on stucking it right in her throat. But she was expecting it and moved on the right and Bill fell on the ground with a disgusting noise. Pam walked closer to him, excited by all the blood that was leaking on his forehead, and put her face in his neck, trying to bite him. But he was faster: he suddenly stood up on his two feet, broke a chair's arm, and rose it above her.

Eric contemplated the scene with interest as Bill rose his funny weapon and murdered his stone-cold Pam without hesitation. God, at least he was still a vampire. Pam started to vomit blood all around the room. Eric took two steps back -his hair was fresh-dyed- and glanced at Bill. The man looked really tired -with all these murderers around his ...uh... girlfriend, it was undertansdable - and held on his stake as if it was his meal. Funny.

The blond and white Adonis burst out into a scary laugh.

**That** wasn't boring.

-GHF-

Fucking slut!

Bill watched his weapon in disbelief. What had he done? Was it killing a woman or killing a thing? Was it murder -again- ? Had he got trapped? By who? Eric's smile burnt his soul. They'd always been ... not friends, but they had a sort of affection for each other, a certain respect even if they didn't show it. But Bill knew that Eric only served his own interests. No morals, no laws... Bill couldn't stand that. He tried so hard to integrate, to be normal... And Eric destroyed all this by forcing him to face his _real_ nature. Was it egoistic or friendly? Who could say? Eric was a mystery. An enigma. A Sphinx with a new purpose and a new punishment for not answering the question. Who would be the one to sneak out under the wires? Maybe nobody. Maybe Eric was made to be alone. Bill felt awfully sad for him, for one second. But just one. The second after he hated him again. Nothing change. How could he intent to kill Sook, fuck? She had helped him so many times, and he had paid her back... But helping was apparently not good enough. He wanted fun. Killing young women, what an amusing hobby! Bill chuckled ironically. All this was so absurd... Like a huge mistake, a misunderstanding, a nightmare... Did Eric even _realize_?

-GHF-

_Court. _The word in itself was cruel-sounding, and wrong. Was this arbitrary system of the meanest punishment really a court? Bill didn't think so. It was painful and scary, yes, but not fair. It wasn't a court. It was the theater of gratuitous torture. Purely and simply. Inhuman beings' pleasure. It disgusted the trying-to-be-good vampire Bill but made the demon in him feel plenty of this bloody excitation that was fed by fear and misery.

When he saw the Magister sitting -as usual- on his garbage throne, Bill froze. That represented all that he was: garbage. All that they were, the hidden people, the banished. Vampires. The magister gazed it him with something that could be called interest.

-What do we have here?

His voice was sarcastic and metallic. Bill grinned, but didn't dare to talk. He learned, with time. But he was upset, really upset. The Magister would know that, for sure. Eric eventually talked, loudly, his calm voice breaking the silence :

-He's a piece of work. Doesn't obey my orders anymore. He killed Pam.

The Magister laughed.

-Poor Pam. She was such a delicious kid.

Bill couldn't hold on himself anymore.

-Delicious? She tried to kill Sookie!

The silence instaured by his declaration was only broken by the sound of a hundred fangs that came out. The Magister seemed surprised.

-Sookie Stackouse?

**To Be Continued ... **


	3. Chapter 3

**Surprise! I bet you weren't expecting me so soon. Well, I don't know how long it's been, but I frankly don't care. Here is the following of The Fantastic Adventures Of Fantastic Eric Northman, hope you'll enjoy it. And, all of you out there, who never say a word, hope you like it too! For the rest, thanks for the reviews, favorites, etc ... I love you all!**

**Disclaimer : Those messed-up, crazy, insane characters don't belong to me. Surprise! But what I do with them sure IS mine. **

**Pairing(s) : You'll see. But it's mostly a story about Eric. **

**Rating : K+**

**God hates Fangs**

-Sookie Stackouse?

Bill called himself a fool. What a mistake! How had he been able to think that he could wrong an entire council of vampires? Now that they knew that Sookie was Pam's target, they would never let her go without some personal sentence. Bill slowly rose his eyes to the smirking Magister.

-She's a victim.

The Magister let out a bored sigh, as if he was talking to a six-year-old.

-She's a human.

Bill could feel Eric smirking behind him. It was such a disturbing presence. Eric had always been kind of a threat, now more than ever. To make his mean-vampire speech more clear, the Magister added :

-A mortal.

Bill grinned in pain. Didn't this jerk know that _he_ knew she was a mortal? Yes she was. So what? Was their love forbidden because of a stupid immortality he hadn't even asked for? Bill's muscles contracted. He needed to punch someone. Fists clenched, he walked to the Magister's garbage's throne.

-Don't hurt her.

The Magister looked down at him with a cruel smile.

-Ooh, we _love_ her? How cute it is!

He turned around to face the assembly of vampires, and, pretending to ask them, said :

-Isn't that the cutest thing _ever_?

They laughed. Apparently satisfied, the Magister came back to his captive and said feelinglessly :

-No it's not. And you know why, Bill?

Bill didn't answer but threw the man a death glance. The Magister put his hands on his throne's arms and lent to Bill.

-Because she's not one of us. She's food. That's all she is! Like all of them!

He rose his arms in the red sky and all the council started to yell and scream. The ovation lasted a few minutes. Then, the Magister ordered Luisa, without watching her, as if exhausted by this energy waste :

-Bring him here.

A sadistic light enlightened his face.

-Now we'll play.

-GHF-

The Magister took a knife in Luisa's hand and tossed it between his fingers. He seemed to wonder what he would do to Bill. Eventually, he looked back to the council and said :

-I think we're gonna ask our _friend_ Bill -he insisted on the _friend_- to give one of us back to our kind.

He grinned at Bill, seeming to know something the brown-eyed vampire hadn't guessed yet.

-Aren't we?

The Magister turned to the assembly.

-We're gonna show him what we're capable of!

The smile in his face was now a sort of evil grin deformed by anger and expectated pain. All the vampires screamed with him. Bill froze.

_Fuck. That was Hell, for sure._

The moonlight shone on the Magister's fangs.

-GHF-

The Magister continued :

-Maybe your "girl" isn't that bad, isn't she?

Nobody knew what he had in mind, but they all nodded.

-Maybe we can give her a chance of redemption.

Bill glanced at the little vampire. Was he serious? She had nothing to repent for, though, but he was so sure that they wouldn't let her go. Maybe... Maybe they had something for him that was so cruel they couldn't do nothing to Sook... It was unbelievable. It was an ambush.

-Maybe we can have her by our side!

He stood up and rose his right hand.

-The black side!

Bill just had the time to ask himself what they were gonna do when something hit the back of his head. He fell loudly on the ground. The Magister jumped near to him and whispered in his ear :

-Good night, Sleeping Beauty...

If he'd been awake, he would have shivered.

-GHF-

Sookie was frightened. Why had she left Bill this morning? Oh, right. Because he was a **vampire**. He would have burnt like a toast if he'd stayed with her. What was his fuckin' problem, anyways? Why couldn't they _live_ like everyone else, and be like a normal couple without all the people watching them as if they were monsters? Sookie snored. _Fuck_. She was -again- going to cry. Why was all this situation so hard to handle? Sometimes -yes- she liked the fact that her boyfriend was a vampire. Yes she did. It wasn't surprising, anyway. It gave him a sort of halo, a strange and blinding aura that attracted her so much. Fascination. It was a kind of deep fascination, insidious, irresistible. It floated all around him with this warm, exciting smell.

Oh-my-God. Did she love him _because_ he was a vampire? That would be such an awful thing. But sometimes, it bored her. This feeling of constant agitation, the blood... sometimes she just wanted to cry and say "Enough! No more!". And sleep. But though. Maybe it was just self-persuasion what she was doing. Oh no. Oh no no _no_. Sookie suddenly felt the urge to go see Bill and tell him she loved him, just to know. To know if fangs inside she just saw in him a guy, a boring, very old guy that held her as if she was the most precious thing in the world. But it wasn't that, wasn't it? It ujust couldn't be that. She had tried so hard to make it work out. And it would have been all for nothing? She couldn't accept that. She looked hopefully at the red sky. Soon she'd go to his house and cry and kiss him and he'd say with his sweet, smoothing voice :

-All is gonna be okay.

Like he did all the time. Sookie lay on the covers and immediately fell asleep.

-GHF-

When she woke up a couple hours later, the sun was already hidden behind the hills and a few clouds hung out in the sky. Sookie stood up on her feet, dressed up, and hurried over to the Compton house. She knocked several times but nobody answered. Maybe Bill was playing the Wii. Someday he had told her that he liked playing golf with it because of the artificial sun. The nostalgia in his voice was so deep and so sincere that she had wanted to cry blood tears, just like him, and understand. But she couldn't. She shook her head to make these dark thoughts go away, and opened the door. No noise. That was strange, but maybe he was still sleeping. She entered the living-room. Everything was unchanged. Untouched. Black odd things, red curtains, old coach. Everything here had this smell of past whose Sookie had, with time, got used to. He must be outside hunting or buying True Blood. Right. She'd wait for hugs. She sat on the coach when she felt a presence behind her. She turned around and found out a dark little man smirking at her. He held a sort of black gold stick. He smiled at her :

-Hello, Miss...

She didn't say a thing and his smile grew wider.

- … Sookie Stackouse, am I right?

Hearing her name, she took back the control of herself.

-Who are you?

He grinned at the person following him, a latino vampire woman.

-You aren't very polite, young woman...

-Who are you?

-Magister, nice to meet you, and this is Luisa.

-What do you want?

Suddenly, she saw Eric, hidden in a dark corner. She greeted him coldly :

-Eric.

He did the same with his hoarse, drawling tone.

-Sookie.

-Hmm, hmm. Sorry to interrupt.

They both turned to the smiling Magister and Sookie reapeted her question :

-What do you want?

She glanced at Eric.

-Again?

The Magister whispered :

-The same thing. You.

The minute after, she was asleep. _Again. _

But not exactly the same kind of sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**N/A : Hey! Fourth chapter's up! I'm pretty sure you didn't expect that (and if you did, you're one hell of a guesser, my friend!). Well, anyways, enjoy (and feedback)!**

**Disclaimer : Those messed-up, crazy, insane characters don't belong to me. Surprise! But what I do with them sure IS mine.**

**Pairing(s) : You'll see. But it's mostly a story about Eric.**

**Rating : K+**

**God hates Fangs**

Sookie didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't know this place, but it didn't seem to be such a cosy hospitable one. But, thinking that maybe she would see Bill, she did. She did open her eyes. But instead of her beloved, she just saw the Magister with Eric and Luisa behind his back, like his two damned souls.

-Where his Bill?

The Magister imitated her tiny female voice :

_-Where is Bill? _

He watched her with a mean look.

-Bill is dead, little thing.

No. No. NO! Bill couldn't be dead. It was impossible. Bill couldn't be dead. No. No. No...

She rose to the Magister her tears-filled eyes:

-No! Bill can't be dead!

The Magister smiled cruelly.

-But he is.

-He isn't. It's impossible.

The vampires bursted into laughter while she repeated her mantra, on and on :

_Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. Bill is not dead. _

Bill was dead.

Sookie Stackouse hated vampires.

-GHF-

The Magister, back on his throne, asked the council :

-So... what are we gonna do to punish Bill?

He yelled and pointed an accusing finger at Sookie :

-What are we gonna do with her?

The vampires, as if they suddenly had had the exact same idea, yelled in rhythm :

-Turn her! Turn her!

Sookie froze. No. She was _definitely_ not going to be turned. No way. But the assembly continued its awkward groan :

-Turn her! Turn her!

The Magister seemed to like the proposition but calmly objected :

-Who is going to be her maker?

A salve of "Me!" exploded in the parking lot.

-Who? Propose a name! I don't hear anything!

And the Magister found this _so_ funny. A hundred names bursted like a huge and threatening laugh.

-Me! Eric!

The Magister stared at him, vaguely interested.

-Eric? Why?

Eric had a black-sounding smile.

-I've always dreamt to know how she tastes.

Sookie closed her eyes. It had to be a nightmare.

-GHF-

The Magister reflected during a short minute and said to Eric :

-It's okay. Go. Do it fast...

He smirked.

- ... and bloody.

Deadly serious -not like the Magister who was always smiling-, Eric approached Sookie. Understanding that she was really going to be turned, she started to shiver violently.

-Don't! Don't do that, you fucking freak! Don't even try to touch me!

He didn't pay attention to her and slightly touched her cheek. Then he abruptly caught her hair and bit her. It wasn't the sweet, delicate way Bill had to bite her, but something like abrupt and rough, and somewhere -in the deepest secret of her human mind- it excited her. Bill was always so... obliging. Like an over-sugared candy. Sickening. Eric sank his fangs deeper in her neck and she screamed. Oh My God. Now it was really horrible. This guy was so fucking mean. Eric rose his eyes from her neck during a second and she could see in his look how insane and blood-hungry he was. He smiled, mouth plenty of blood, and suddlenly bit himself in the arm. Sookie wondered a moment what he was doing when she finally understood, and her whole body clenched in horror. Was he really going to _turn_ her? It wasn't a joke? A nightmare? Her, Sookie Alexandra Stackouse, telepath? Did they want to use her telepathic powers to start a human/vampire war? The red liquid started to fall in her mouth, and, before she could handle herself she was kneeling, sucking blood from Eric Northton's arm, area 5 sherif. All of this was so, so crazy... She met Eric's gaze and he smiled :

-See you tomorrow, _Sook _!

"How dare he!" was her last thought before falling in the dark.

-GHF-

When Sookie Stackouse woke up the night after she wasn't the same person. And she was burried. She risked a look at her right side, and screamed. OhMyGosh! Was this Eric? It must be, because he smiled to her and gave her an hand to exit the grave. When it was done, he looked at her, apparently very satisfied, and said, as if she didn't know him :

-Hi Sookie, nice to meet you. I'm Eric.

-Fuck you.

He watched her coldly and informed her :

-I'm your maker. Either you obey me, either you die.

Sookie replied ironically :

-Okay, _master_!

Eric had a plenty-fangs smile and she felt with horror her own mouth half-open to let go two white knives shining in the moonlight. Eric said :

-Welcome, Sookie.

She screamed again.

**To Be Continued ... **


	5. Chapter 5

**N/A : Hey folks ! Here's the update, I'm so sorry I took so long. You can thank Mr Jack, since he is the one who reminded me of this very story ... I had almost forgotten in in the depths of my computer. Anyways, here it is, hope you'll like it. I still have two chapters that I have already written and that I will try to post as soon as I can. As usual, tell me if some language mistakes shock you, I'l****l be glad to correct myself. Finally, you can read the adventures of Sookie in VampireLand ... and it will rock ! Love and thanks to everyone for your lovely reviews... R&R !**

**Disclaimer : Those messed-up, crazy, insane characters don't belong to me. Surprise! But what I do with them sure IS mine.**

**Pairing(s) : You'll see. But it's mostly a story about Eric.**

**Rating : K+**

**Eric : Thank you for everything ! Here is the update you were waiting for, hope you'll like it ! And, BTW, I just love you name !**

**God hates Fangs**

Eric waited until she stopped screaming with a bored look. When she was done – _finally _-, he said :

-It's okay? You finished? Maybe we can go now.

He was so fucking arrogant she just wanted to scream again, but she obeyed willessly. She brushed the dust off her dress, and said :

-Here we go. What are we doing now, Mr I'm-in-charge?

He didn't seem to fancy the joke, but started walking towards the hills.

-We're going to get you some food.

Sookie smiled.

-Yum.

His face hidden in the shadows, Eric grinned, satisfied. She did such a _perfect_ vampire.

-GHF-

Alastor Fonda was a quiet man. He never did illegal things, woke up at seven and went to bed at ten, only drank red wine and beers, watched basketball games on Saturday, didn't do drugs. He even gave some money to charity associations, sometimes.

When, on this absolutly regular day, he went to take a walk in his garden to get some fresh air - this heat was so horrible, God - in his green pajamas, he had no idea he was gonna die. But he did. Fate is cruel, sometimes. Especially when fate takes shape of two hungry vampires.

So Alastor Fonda quietly opened the door of his cosy house, quietly inhaled a breath of cold air, quietly started walking in the grass, and -not quietly at all- got killed.

Eric laughed and gestured to Sookie to show her the terrified man he kept prisoner in his arms.

-Ladies first.

Sookie did a funny reverence, and walked towards the man. Happy like a child who's getting her first make-up kit, she said :

-It's very kind of you.

Eric laughed again and Sookie turned to her frightened victim.

-Hello, old man!

And then she bit him. Eric glanced at her and smiled before joining her in her bloody meal.

Alastor Fonda was now a _very_ quiet man.

-GHF-

When the poor man was finally reduced to an exsangue bag of bones, Sookie licked the blood off her lips, retracted her fangs and shyly said :

-Eric?

Said Eric answered :

-Yes?

-Did we ... you know ...

Eric looked at her, amused :

-Did we ?

-You know ...

She blushed – vitually, of course, as vampires can _not_ blush.

-Did we fuck in the grave?

Eric cocked a distinguised brow and said, seeming really not to care about it.

-Fuck? Oh no, it's not part of the process. We slept, actually.

The remark seemed to hurt her.

-What? You wouldn't fuck me? I'm not good enough for you, _master_?

Eric was finding all this very, _very_ funny. This girl really was a whole lot of fun. Huh.

-I don't know, you're a little too fresh for me... Not dead enough. And you don't even have blood in your veins anymore. I don't see the point.

Sookie was becoming hysteric, and it was really hilarious.

-What? Not _dead enough_? Are you kidding me? You just turned me into a fanged, awful vampire for eternity and now you say that I'm not _dead enough_? Oh my God, you're such a fucking jerk. And you don't see the point because I don't have blood anymore?

She paused to take a deep breath.

-I don't know, maybe I'm great in bed ?

He glanced at her, smiling.

-I don't think so.

She screamed :

-What?

Eric wiped his mouth on his suit. This night was going to be a very good one, for sure.

-GHF-

But what Eric thought about the night being very good slightly changed when they both walked in Fangtasia. The vampires all around, as they usually did, began to stare at the new, fresh and blond just-made, and Sookie kinda overreacted. She yelled :

-What are you looking at, dumbasses ?

And to provoke a room full of not-so-kind vampires wasn't exactly the best idea.

A brown-eyed and blue-haired female vampire walked towards her :

-Lookin' at you, sweetheart.

She put her hand on Sookie's chest and added :

-It's like I still can feel your heartbeat, can I?

Sookie rolled her eyes and asked :

-Why is everyone annoying me over the fact that I'm not dead enough today?

She outed her fangs and said threateningly, mirroring the other vampire's previous gesture by putting her hand the female's cold chest :

-It's like you won't be able to feel anything soon, will ya?

And, surprising everyone, with her unbelievable vampire speed, she tore off a lap-dance bar and sank it in the woman's belly.

-GHF-

Eric was astonished. Really astonished. It's not like it happened often to him or anything, but he just couldn't believe what he was seeing. Did the naïve, kind, almost idiot fresh-made Sookie just wildly killed another vampire? Before anyone could have understood what she just did, Sookie "Vampire" Stackouse ran to the window and jumped through it. Little pieces of glass flowed all over the room. Everybody was petrified, looking awe-struckingly at the dead thing on the floor, which wasn't really a thing anymore but more of a sticky and disgusting puddle of blood.

"Pull yourself together, damnit!" the sheriff thought, and ran across the room to follow his insane daughter-in-blood.

When he finally reached the street, it was empty and cold, like every night. The only thing changed was the velvety scent of a young vampire's presence, like a trace he just had to follow to reach his unobedient child. He started to run and groaned when the wind slapped him in the face.

He was gonna fix this. _Soon_.

-GHF-

Sookie felt good. Not _really_ good, of course -hey, guys, she was still a vampire, for God's sake-, but the kind of good when something is wrong and it becomes a little bit easier to stand. When the pain is kinda softer. Okay, if she needed to kill a vampire to feel good, she wasn't gonna hold herself, believe me! Kiddin'. Sort of. First of all, she needed something like a strategy. She remembered when Bill had killed Longshadow, and apparently the all judgment thing wasn't really the funniest in the world. So... She was so happy her hate against vampires hadn't disappeared with the transformation. _They had killed Bill. _It was like the last thing that linked her to her former humanity. Her love. And her hatred. And now that she was strong and blood-hungry, now that she was a vampire, now that she had nothing to lose but those two feelings, it was time for her to revenge. She opened her mouth and felt the power pulse in her body like a human heart.

_Thank you, Master_, she thought ironically.

**To Be Continued ... **


End file.
